I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
