Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
