when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
