I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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