I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize