I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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