haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
