Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
