toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Welp...herpes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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