and next time when you feel me up, do it right
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
