I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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