I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am one with the molecules
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize