I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
