Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
