Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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