why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize