Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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