you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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