he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just pynch a tree in the face
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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