U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
