I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My breasts were aching with rage.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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