I wanna bring you to show and tell
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
