You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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