just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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