I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We are all done wearing pants today
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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