3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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