"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize