dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
