whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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