only if we run a train.
done.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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