SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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