Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
