Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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