If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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