I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
