Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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