The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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