I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My feet surprised me
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