So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
