You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize