No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize