Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
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I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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