i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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