cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
