I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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