I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
