I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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