listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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