i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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