just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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