Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
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