Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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