yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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