You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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