did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
