we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
